Friday, 31 July 2015

FUNNY COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS BETWEEN WIVES OF TODAY AND THAT OF YESTERDAY


1). Yesterday's Wives:
Welcome my husband, hope the
office was not
stressful, your favorite
food is ready, let me

lead you to the
bathroom first, then you take your dinner,
you look so tired, am
sure you'll be okay after
taking your dinner.
Welcome my one and
only. Today's Wives
Please don't put
unecessary pressure on
me, you can go to the
fridge pick up the stew,
microwave it and boil the remaining rice, i am
your wife and not your
cook.


2). Yesterday's Wives
Darling stop thinking
about our lack of money. Its going to be
temporary. God will see
us through and we are
going to come out of it
stronger. Afterall we
can still feed ourselves and the children. We
need to give the
Almighty that glory. I
am with you through
thick and thin, my
husband, the owner of my dowry.
Today's Wives
Look I am sick and tired
of living in this abject
poverty with you. Why
did you bring me to your house when you know
that you are not ready
for marriage? Every day
is one complaint or the
other. We don't have
cars, our house isn't complete, when your
mates are in Estate
houses. Look if you
don't find solutions to
your problems, you will
come back one day and not find me in this your
rotten house.


3). Yesterday's Wives
My husband, we only
have 3 children, don't
you think we should have more. You know
children are gifts and
mercies from God. And
the more the merrier.
Today's Wives
Look am sick and tired of this marriage. You
won't allow me to rest
by your constant urge
for sex all in the name
of having more children.
I am okay with our two children. I can't allow
you to spoil my figure 8
by bearing anotheby
bearing another 4
children. You are so
wicked that I feel you want to spoil my
psychedelic looks. If you
dare force me, I will sue
you for rape.


4). Yesterday's Wives
My husband, take heart and don't worry. I shall
go with you to
village. You are
being transfered from
lagos, it might be a
blessing in disguise. We shall take advantage of
the agricultural
opportunities of the
savannah zone to
advance our wellbeing.
Some disappointments could be a blessing.



Today's Wives
Me I can't follow you to
that remote ooooo. God
forbid, bad thing.From
lagos to village? I can't cope with such a
demotion. To start
living in a remote village.
You had better look for
another wife. I can't live
in a place without Silverbird,Amig o
supermarket, WestHill
supermarket or
shoprite.


5). Yesterday's Wives
My husband, I have enough clothes.This
#3000 you are giving
me, pls keep it and
save for a rainy day.
Today's Wives
Why are you so stingy? Do you have super glue
in your palms or you are
having a P.O.P hand?
What an insult. What
kind of shopping do you
want me to do with #3000? What can I
buy? Is it Swiss lace or
Dubai gold. I am
disappointed in you.Your
mates are giving their
wives $5000 to shop, here you are humiliating
me with naira. I don't
blame you. It is because
I refused to marry that
other guy (more
handsome and wealthier) that's why
you are messing up
with me.


Please be sincere, are
these not true fact
about today's wives. Don't laugh or be smiling
alone.

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